It's that point in the pregnancy where no matter how long before bed I cut myself off from drinking water, peeing numerous times during the night becomes impossible to avoid. While I'm up, I'm up for about an hour b/c I can't not think about anything while peeing. Then the brain starts to warm up and I can't turn it off, so I'm up thinking about the STUPIDEST stuff on the planet. It's very random, but here are some of the things that cross my mind.
1. I think about this one more often than you'd think: 9 months my ass. It's 10 months. At least I'm not pregnant for 22 months like elephants. But 10 months is long enough - it's practically a year! Right now it feels like I've been pregnant as long as elephants, but I'm getting close. Why do I know this strange fact about elephants? We can thank being members at the Houston Zoo for 8 years for that one.
2. I'm going to write a book called "Shit you don't say to pregnant women. EVER". What is up with the rude things total strangers say to pregnant women? My ankles look great! Should have yelled at the old lady. Lately I've been told I must be having twins b/c "I'm huge", told my ankles are swollen, been told I must be having a girl because I'm carrying so low, asked if I was dilated yet...really!!! Look for that gem on the NY Times best seller lists.
3. I know it's a strange thing to think about at 3 am on the toilet, but no one has died this pregnancy. (and no, I'm not talking about Nick) Every time I get pregnant, a grandparent dies. I have one left and so does Nick - so I hope they make it long enough to meet baby P.
4. Every time I get up, it appears I'm adding things to the 'honey do' list for Nick. Last night I decided all the windows in the house need to be washed. Inside and out. Like right now.
5. A Whataburger with onion rings sounds really good. Is this something I should wake Nick up for? Will he be pissed? Or will he roll out of bed and get me one? It's a game I really don't want to play in the wee hours of the morning.
6. Did I forget to take the clothes out of the washing machine? Did I forget to shut the garage door? Where is my debit card? Is the alarm on? Did I just hear the kids walking around - maybe I should check on them. Did I forget to feed the dog today? I think I forgot to take my prenatal vitamin....ugh - it never ends.
7. If the dog farts, sneezes, breathes loudly or snores one more time, I will kill him! How would I do that and where would I hide the body? (Nick's name is also interchangeable here too)
8. Sam talks a lot about death. Do you think he knows? He asks all the time when he's going to die. I bet he knows. I think about that one a lot too.
9. Need to remember to put _____________ on the calendar tomorrow. Do I ever remember to do it? of course not!
10. Why is flushing the toilet the loudest thing ever at 2 AM? I swear I just woke up the whole house.
So...that's most of the stuff I think about. Like I said all random, and surprisingly, all stuff I thought about last night! Most of it is a completely normal thought process, some of it is kind of messed up.
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