two steps forward, one step back

What we thought was a done deal with being worried about Sam ended up being slightly preemptive.  After Dr. Fernandez told us Sam was fine and we didn't need to worry about anything neurological, I thought we were done.  I would be lying if I told you we didn't pop a bottle of champagne and do some serious celebrating.  It NEVER occurred to me that the blood work our doctor ordered would come back fishy.  Although the doctors we saw in November said "we don't think this is neurological" the blood work says differently.  

So, here we are again at the oh-so-familiar intersection of OK Avenue and Craptastic Way - waiting for some news.  I HATE WAITING.  This time, we wait until January 11 to see a different doctor to get the results of the extra blood work that he ordered and some genetic screening.  While we wait, we are desperately trying to cling to some sanity and get through the days without having a meltdown. It's hard not to get online and google everything the doctor told us on the phone.  It's hard to watch Nick get to where I've been for months - that something is not right.   We're just praying that something was wrong with the tests they ran and not anything with Sam.

I've been talking about Sam and his issues for so long, that I no longer cry when I talk about it.   Is that normal?  I guess it's our normal now.  It's part of everyday life that I tell him to stop walking on his toes or "don't sit like that" or "good job walking up the stairs by yourself".  His physical limitations have become part of our routine.  I feel like whatever the outcome in January, that will become part of life for us.  

Thought I would give everyone an update.  Keep Sam in your thoughts and prayers.  I pray that come January 11, we will have good news and finally start 2013 with a step in the right direction.